Tommy T. Gass responds to the Underfaker

(The arena fills with mist. The smell of sweet grapes linger in the air. The fans start to feel lightheaded and start cheering Tommy T. Gass's name.)

(Suddenly, a fast fat man runs to the ring and flips over the top turnbuckle.)

(The spotlight is on.)

Underfaker. You come to the ring with your smoke and your lights. You strike fear with your druids and your hat and your coat. The lightning, the caskets and your special effects. You need to lighten up man! You're not entertaining the fans, you're scaring them away. On the 31st, I will give the fans what they have been waiting for, what they have been craving for, what they are paying for. I will expose all your cheap parlor tricks and unmask you for the sham that you are. You will get a taste of the Gasstronomical delights of the Laughing Gass and know what it feels like to laugh your way to the grave!

Do you smell that? That is the smell of today's or-Gass-m!

(And in a puff of smoke, the fat man suddenly vanished. The fans cheer louder and louder and louder now.)

T. GASS!!! T-GASS!!! T-GASS!!! T-GASS!!! T-GASS!!!